


Last Kiss

by secretsongdeer



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: And some mentions of the others i guess?, F/M, Gen, I Tried, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Like, a little bit only tho, and, and also, but give it a go?, but i siriusly hope you'll like it, but i'm sorry, but this was what i could do, milk allergy i guess, shorter than short, sob sob, this is absolute shit, this is short, yeah - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 18:54:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29937870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/secretsongdeer/pseuds/secretsongdeer
Summary: The last time they kissed, it had been soft and held unspoken promises of a later, which never came.
Relationships: Sirius Black & Marlene McKinnon, Sirius Black/Marlene McKinnon
Comments: 10
Kudos: 9





	Last Kiss

**Author's Note:**

> This is for the Blackinnon Week 2021  
> Hope you'll like it!!

The first time they kissed, it had been all rough and hard and angry and impatient. There was no later. There was only  _ now _ . It was just him and her and they lost but it wasn’t about the fucking match. It was about all the losses they had to face every single day. It was about all the lives people were losing to the war every damn day, and all the childhood they lost. 

And there  _ wasn’t  _ any time for tomorrow. 

The last time they kissed, it had been soft and held promises of later. There was always later. They would have each other. They wouldn’t be alone. Unaware of the ending nearing them in their dark tunnel. Unaware that there would really be no later this time. Unaware of the future that they would have to spend alone. 

* * *

If he ever thought about it later, he would say he really should have known. The day was far too perfect, far too unreal, far too unbelievable when they were in a war. Like the calm before the storm. The bubbling lava before the eruption. Neither of them had a mission that day and going out seemed perfect. 

They were reminiscing outside the  _ Three Broomsticks  _ when she told him about a family dinner. The one they had every month and the one she hadn’t been able to attend in 4 months because of some mission. Knowing this meant a lot to her, he told her that he would be having a lads night. Now he wished with everything in him that he should have gone along with her. Then he might have been able to do  _ something _ –  _ anything  _ other than sitting in their flat, waiting for her to come home while smoking a cigarette. Or he would have died, along with her. Instead of having to deal with all of it alone. He would have been able to see her,  _ feel  _ her when he died. But it never happened. He had to feel all of that sorrow, pain, loneliness even when he was surrounded by people. 

When he died, all he could think about was every single regret in his life; and not having enough time to spend with her was one of the largest of them all. Although he thought even  _ forever  _ was too little of time to spend with her. When he first saw the scorched walls of their home, all he could think of was  _ Marlene  _ and how  _ she could still be in there _ and  _ LET ME GO PRONGS! _

It was like he was watching every single moment of life that he spent with her burn and die as ashes. He wanted to punch something. The crack of the bones in his fist felt good. It was pain, but knowing he caused it for himself made it all better. He was so fucking tired of pain from someone else. Now all he had was a memory of her, which tortured him every single day by reminding him of his existence, and her absence in his life.

When he went to her funeral wearing the suit Lily forced him to and looking like a devil, he resented his own brain. It was taunting him with every single memory of her, burning in his mind. And he hated how her cousins were looking at him almost like he had done this to her, to her family. 

Like he did this to her, to himself. Like he made his own heart break a little bit more with every passing second. Like he made himself wish that he was in there because it was better than this lonely, desolate, hopeless world where he wouldn’t be able to hear her laughter, or where he wouldn’t be able to see her arch her neck, or where he wouldn’t be able to see her as she caught Harry after throwing him in the air, or where he wouldn’t be able to watch her be so wonderfully kind and brave and just her. 

All he could do was watch the coffin as they lowered her into the ground and lean onto James for support and build himself into a self-destructive rage.

* * *

_ Her lips met his halfway and just like any other time they kissed, it felt new. It wasn’t hard or rough or impatient. It was the kind that made toes curl in her shoes and the corners of his mouth tilt up slightly. His cold grey eyes would shine in a way they wouldn’t for anyone else, and her blue ones would twinkle. Their kisses weren’t ever this soft or sweet or tender before. Sure, sometimes they didn’t get carried away, but they never actually spoke about the depth of their feelings for each other. This one spoke volumes.  _

_ They did pull away though, and only then did their movements portray impatience and excitement.  _

_ “Git.” She called him. _

_ “I hate you!” He replied.  _

_ “That makes two of us.” She examined her nails and smirked, “Bye.” _

* * *

Even though no one could ask her about it, she did not feel anything different the day she died. It was the same kind of day. Same old job and same old work. Giving Dumbledore and Moody her report of the previous day’s mission and going back to their flat to tell Sirius about the dinner she was going to have with her family that night. 

Even when she reached the house she didn’t feel anything. She was thinking about what was for dinner actually. Only, she never got to eat it– it was roast chicken, her favorite. 

People often spoke as if you would know if your death was soon, and she believed them when they said that, but when she was about to die she found that she disagreed with them. She thought she would be very conscious of her surroundings, not that she would be more focused on what she would be having for dinner. 

People also said that they would regret a lot of things they did or they didn’t do when they died– during the moments right before. 

And she thought she agreed with them, she could only think about how she never got to say goodbye to anyone but Sirius; she thought about how she never got to thank James for the time he shared his cigarette with her, about Lily and the time she gave her the Charms notes when she skipped class, about Dorcas and how she never got to see her wear the blue dress she'd bought, about Emme and how she never got to tell her about her new allergy towards milk, about Harry and how she'd never get to see him go to Hogwarts, about Alice, Frank, Neville, just  _ everyone _ . 

She thought about how much she was going to be missing in all of their lives, but she also thought  _ Hey, if this means the war will end in their favor soon, she had no regrets _ .

And she faced death, in the Marlene McKinnon way- the ghost of the smile when Sirius last kissed her and without a drop of fear in her blue eyes. 

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> Aaaaaaand DONE, this was so damn short I'm sorry, and also weird to write cause I actually finished it before? I guess?  
> And, I'm only doing one drabble for this year, cause you know- life calls and all : (  
> Find me on Tumblr at [ secretsongdeer ](https://secretsongdeer.tumblr.com/) or at [ life-on-stars ](https://life-on-stars.tumblr.com/) :)


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